"Lunchables" are not "able" to be "lunch" at all. They should be called "snackables".
-I would like to see two potheads fight. And then see how long it takes them to forget they are fighting.
-There is an entire knife dedicated to butter. Really?
-Flavored water is no longer water. It's kool aid.
-Not only do heels make a woman more attractive, it makes it that much harder for them to get away.
-Seafood is not microwavable. Period.
-A thong is just a wedgie made more comfortable.
-It's okay- I think I'm hotter when I'm drinking too.
-I don't care what profession you are in. Facial tan lines are not attractive.
-Deodorant is everyone's friend. Always.
-When eating Pesto anything, it is inevitable that you will get something green stuck in your teeth.
-Try to remember that if you are ever going up or down stairs in the dark, if you think there is another stair, there isn't; and if you think there isn't, there is.
-Was there ever a point to leg warmers?
-Never ask a man if you look too fat in that outfit. You'll both just get annoyed because there is no correct answer to that question.
-You will never find that one sock that always ends up missing after pulling laundry from the dryer. Ever.
